City of Lights

   I cannot believe that it has been a year since my Ugandan adventure. It seems like just yesterday I was playing with the children in that bright red dirt. It was so difficult for me to leave all those children behind, MY children. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about them and miss them so much. This time last year I remember being so overwhelmed with Los Angeles and all the busyness that came with it. Although there were difficult times in Tororo, Uganda, I thrived there, that was my home. Before I left Uganda I made a promise, a promise to myself and all of the babies. I promised that I would build them a home, a home that would keep them safe, that would take care of them, a home that would love them. I came back to Los Angeles with a mission. I would keep my promise.

   Although I was overwhelmed with the busy streets of Los Angeles, I never lost sight of the promise I made, my mission. With hard work, the help of family and friends, I raised the money I needed to build my Ugandan babies a home. It was a dream come true to know that these children were going to have a place to call home. When the dream to build a baby home came to my heart I immediately drew a design of what I wanted it to look like on a napkin. I have zero artistic ability when it comes to drawing and I have no architectural knowledge what so ever. So I did not think that my vision of a baby home was actually going to become a reality, but it did. I took my pathetic drawing to an architect and he gave me a professional blue print of what would be City of Lights Baby Home. I was shocked and so excited! I was talking to my good friend Alicia today and she reminded of something about our God. Alicia reminded me that God loves to surprise us with His goodness. She used the example of when a parent buys something for their child for Christmas that the child really wants, but doesn't think that they will get. The look of surprise and joy on the child's face when they receive that gift is what makes it all worth it. I did not think that my exact dream and design would come to pass, but God surprised me. Not only did my dream of building a baby home come to pass, but it is the EXACT design that I drew on that napkin. My dream was God breathed and was coming true! City of Lights Baby Home is still currently being built, but it is set to be completed in February 2014.

(Click to Enlarge)

   I cannot wait to go back to Uganda to see the completed baby's home. Since I left Uganda, Smile Africa and Pastor Ruth have rescued a number of more babies. I am so excited that they will have a place to grow up and receive the care and love that they deserve. This is just the first of many. My plan is to build City of Lights Baby Home's all over the world. I am a girl on a mission, sent by God. It will be done. 

"Thank you Jesus for surprising me with your goodness. Thank you for believing in me and always keeping the dream alive in my heart. I love you. Amen." 

 

Awakening the Lioness

   When I first came home from Africa, everyone had a lot of questions to ask me. People would ask the basic questions.."how long were you there? What did you do? What did you eat? Where did you sleep?...and my personal favorite...Did you wake up and there were like lions outside your window?" My answer to that..."umm not exactly!" Although I never quite had the pleasure of waking up to roaring lions, I did get to go on a safari and see many lions. They are such beautiful, powerful creatures. And believe it or not, I am learning that we can actually learn a lot from these magnificent animals. 

  I am currently reading a devotional book by Lisa Bevere called "Lioness Arising". This is such an inspiring book. It is encouraging us to go after the visions that God has put inside each of us, teaching us what it means to be dangerous and fully awake, and how to use our strength for service, not for status. In the chapter that I was reading today, it was encouraging me to be careful who I share my God-given visions with. I need to be careful that I do not seek input or advice about my missions in Africa with people who do not share the same faith that I have, or understand the dream in my heart. I can share my passion with everyone, but it would not be fair of me to expect them to have all the answers, that would make me wrong, not them. If I want helpful advise, then I need to seek wisdom from someone who has walked this path before. It would be more beneficial for me to share my vision with some who has a similar vision and faith. 

   The same goes for you too. No matter your purpose in life, it would be to your benefit to ask someone who shares the same goals and dreams that you have, someone that has maybe already accomplished something similar to what you hope to accomplish. For example, Sarah and Sally are great friends. Sally has a dream of opening a fashion company. Sarah has a different dream of running a dog grooming store. It would not be beneficial for Sally to ask Sarah's advice on the best way to start a fashion company, in the same regard, it would not benefit Sarah to ask Sally which shampoos are best for poodles. Does that make sense?

   God has placed specific dreams in our hearts, visions that are unique to each of us as individuals. What I am beginning to notice is that when I have a dream or a vision for something, rarely do I see all the struggle, time, and perhaps money it will take to accomplish it. I only see the end goal. As I am walking down the path and there are struggles, I tend to get frustrated and even distracted. I will even doubt myself and doubt the vision that God placed inside me. I will say things like "Maybe I didn't understand God right. Maybe I shouldn't do this." That doubt and negativity will distract you from the end goal. It is in those hard times that I have to remember that God's word is true. Numbers 23:19 (NIV) says, "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" 

   The vision that God has placed in your heart is there for a reason! Do not give up! Even when things get difficult and it seems impossible, keep going. God is not a God who would lie! His promises endure forever! It's time to awaken the fierce lion or lioness inside you. Do not give up on things that seem difficult, stay the course. You will come out victorious. 

"Thank you Jesus for a new day. Thank you for never giving up on us. I pray that you will awaken the lioness in each of us. Keep us strong. Help us stay the course that You have designed for us. When things in life get difficult, I pray that we would seek You first in all things. We love you! Amen."

Raise the Roof

"Arise, shine for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light,  and kings to the brightness of your dawn." Isaiah 60:1-3

   When I was in my freshman year of high school, a teacher prophesied over my life. She had told me that God had chosen me for a specific purpose. That God had told her that He was going to use me to be a light in a dark place, that there was a generation that would be looking to me. When she told me that I was a little confused. God has given all of us a purpose and a destiny, one that is special and unique for each of us. At 15 years old I was unsure of what exactly God had in store for me. 

   6 years later...it is making a little more sense. I would not say that I have everything figured out, but I would say that I am beginning to make sense of what my teacher said 6 years ago. I am so excited to tell you that City of Lights Baby home is almost finished! We now have a roof! When I saw the picture of the home, I was speechless. I was in my car when I got an e-mail from Pastor Ruth that had pictures of the progress of the home. I could not believe my eyes! I pulled the car over and praised God for what He is doing in Tororo Uganda. It was at the moment that I remembered the prophesy from when I was 15 years old. When I named the home City of Lights, I wasn't even thinking about what my teacher had said..."God is going to use you to be a light in dark place..." This baby home is a light in a dark place. In the midst of devastation, abuse, abandonment, and heart ache is where we built City of Lights Baby home, where we can care for, nurture, educate, and love babies all over Uganda. City of Lights Baby Home is the light in the midst of a dark place. 

   Here are some pictures of the baby home now. It is not yet completed, but we are sooo close! These babies now have a roof over their heads. Praise Jesus!

(Click to enlarge!)

   

   God never ceases to amaze me. He has planned everything so perfectly and I am so excited and overwhelmed with joy to see all the children that God is going to bless us with. Currently, we have 8 babies that are waiting for our home to be complete. God has entrusted me, at 21 years old, with 8 of HIS children...what an honor that I have been given... and even more so...what a HUGE responsibility. The choices that I make every day are going to affect those innocent lives that are now in my care. 

"Jesus, thank you for all that you are doing in Uganda. I pray for the 8 babies that we already have and the others that we do not know about yet. I pray, God, that you will open our eyes to see more that need our help. Please protect our children and all the staff. Thank you for blessing us. We love you! Amen"

*We still need your help! Please donate to www.smileafrica.org. I can't do this without you. Every dollar counts! Thank you!

 
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Welcome Home

   Well I made it home safely. It felt so weird to only be there for a week. Saying good-bye to my kids after such a short time was heart breaking. I'll be back soon though, so that makes it better. My last day in Uganda was spent in Kampala. I got to visit one of the kids that I sponsor named Joe. This little boy has gotten so big. I was in Uganda when this sweet little boy was rescued as an infant. I was 17 years old and I will never forget that day. Now, 4 years later, this boy has grown into a loved and healthy little boy.

   I spent as much time as I could with this sweet boy. It was so good to see him again. Once my time was up at the village I got in the van and headed back to the hotel so that I could pack. The only thing that I could think about was my last walk through the red dirt. 

   It was a bitter sweet feeling to get on the plane and head back to Los Angeles. I was excited to go home, but also sad to be away from my children. I was really going to miss them. I had an amazing trip. I didn't think that God was going to use me in the ways that he did in such a short amount of time. I was hoping that, even though it was a brief trip, that God would be able to use me to do big things for His kingdom. He did. I love every second that I am in Uganda. In Uganda, I thrive. Something awakens inside me and its unstoppable. 

   People ask me all the time if it is hard to be in Uganda and see all the things that I see. To be honest, it is way harder coming home than it is going. It is really hard for me to relate to people here once I get back to Los Angeles. My heart is just in a different place than most people that live in my city. While some people here are worried about their cell phones breaking, the newest iphone, the newest car someone is driving...I'm worried about Bogere, Clovis, and the other children that have stolen my heart. Patience... patience is key in surviving Los Angeles.  

"Jesus thank you so much for allowing me to go to Uganda and be with my children. Thank you for using me in many ways. Please give me the patience that I need to survive Los Angeles. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Please protect my children. Thank you for City of Lights baby home and all the babies that will be rescued. I love you! Amen." 

Saying Good-bye

   As soon as I woke up, I could not wait to go to Smile Africa and spend my last few hours with my children. As soon as I arrived at Smile, Betty and Bogere both came running over to me to give me big hugs! I loved every second of it. We then walked to get Caleb. When Caleb saw me, he came running over to me and I picked him up and held him tightly. I walked around Smile Africa and said good-bye to all the staff and teachers. They were all so surprised that I was leaving so soon. It was a really short trip, but I am grateful for any amount of time that I am able to spend with these kids.

 
   Since it was our last day, I decided that I would take Betty, Bogere, and Caleb to go get ice cream. As we walked out of Smile Africa, I was carrying Caleb and holding Betty's hand. Bogere stayed close to my side. As we were walking down the road Betty was telling me stories of school and all that she had learned. In the middle of her story, she stopped and said,

"Look! Do you see that man? That is my uncle!"

   I looked to where she was pointing...yes...that's right...Bogere's step father was there. This time, I was not scared, but annoyed. I did not stop walking, instead, I took Bogere's hand and kept walking full speed ahead. I looked at that man with a very intense expression. One that said,

"Come near my children, you die!"

   I was not in the mood to deal with this man at all. It was my last day and I wanted it to be a good one with my kids. I stared that man directly in the eyes as we walked by. I walked by with great confidence. I had so much adrenaline going through my body that had he tried to do something, I'm convinced that I could have knocked him out. Add the fact that he was drunk and I've had professional training...and he would have been toast! Haha! Anyway, we walked by him and he didn't dare touch me or my children, so we continued on to the store. We got the ice cream and headed to Rachelle's house so that I could say good-bye to her and her girls. I was really going to miss them.

   Once everyone had their ice cream, it was time to go back to Smile Africa. It was my last hour with them. Everywhere that I went, they stayed close by my side. We sat in the office together and they drew me pictures. I loved every single one. All 3 of them have grown up so much! I know that the next time that I come, they will be even healthier.

   Finally, it was time to go. I can't even explain to you how hard it is to have to say goo-bye to these children. In just the 3 days that I got to spend with them we got closer. I'm telling you, it's just not natural to have to say good-bye to your children. I hated every second of it, and so did they. I looked at Betty and held my arms out to her. She ran to me and burst into tears. I did the best I could to not cry as well. I stayed strong and held her close to me. I hugged her tight and explained that just like last time, I would come back to her.

"I love you so much Betty! You are such a beautiful, amazing girl and I will come back. I promise."

   Bogere watched as I said good-bye to Betty. I could see that he was trying to not cry or get emotional at all. Once I let go of Betty, Bogere came over to me. I picked him and I held him tight. My heart was breaking, and so was his. I could not believe that I was already saying good-bye to my boy. It broke my heart. I did everything I could to keep myself from crying. I needed to stay strong, for him. I looked at him and said, 

"I am going to come back to you, I promise. I am so proud of you Bogere! You are such a good boy and I love you so much!" 

He said, "I love you so much." Then he put his head on my shoulder and gripped onto me as tight as he could. 

   This was by far the hardest part of my trip. I hate doing this! I never want to say good-bye to these children...ever. I told them both that I would be back, and it's true! I said that the last time and I came back. So I know that they trust me. After I said good-bye to both of them, I went and gave Caleb one last hug. As the teacher took him from me, he scream and cried. It was so hard to see all 3 of my children so upset. 

   As the van drove away, I looked out the window and saw them one more time. I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer for them. Then I could no longer see them. It was going to be hard for everyone for the next couple days, but I know that they will be just fine. I can't wait to see them again soon. 

"Thank you Jesus for giving me this opportunity to come to Tororo, Uganda and spend time with these children. I have loved every second with them and I am so grateful for the time that we had together. I pray that you continue to keep them safe and healthy. Please protect them from any danger. We love you. Amen."

 

A Generous Heart

   It was a very long, but wonderful day! I walked to Smile Africa in the in the hot African sun…and I have a nice burn to prove it! It was a really nice, peaceful walk. I walked straight to Smile Africa so that I could spend as much time with my kids as possible. As soon as I arrived, Betty ran and jumped into my arms. I really missed those greetings in the morning. Soon after, Bogere also came at running at me and leaped into my arms, knowing that I would catch him. The 3 of us then walked in to the clinic to say hello to all the staff that I had not seen yet. The second I walked in the room, everyone screamed! We all hugged and laughed and had a nice time catching up with one another. I really missed all of these people.

   I then walked into the baby room to say hello to Caleb. The second I walked in the room he laughed and smiled and came running over to me. That was usually how I started my day… a running hug from Caleb. It was so great to have him back in my arms again. Once I spent some time with Caleb, I walked around Smile Africa and said hello to the other 400 children that I was used to seeing on a daily basis. Most of them remembered my name and ran to give me a hug. I felt so blessed to have all the kids remembering who I was.

   My dad was coming to Tororo, so Pastor Ruth went to pick him up from the near by airfield and I remained at Smile Africa. Finally my dad arrived. It was a special day for the near by slum. Our church had raised money to build portable toilets for the slum near Smile Africa. This was a huge deal because sanitation is a serious issue. There is a lot of disease in this slum because of the lack of good toilets. It was a really exciting moment to finally have the toilets up and working for these people. It is really going to help out a lot. It was such a great celebration as the people rejoiced with one another. It was such an honor to experience it.

   As I walked through the slum, I recognized a lot of the people…and they recognized me. I had spent a lot of time with them, talking with them and making sure their children got home safely. Most of them knew me because of the situation that happened with Bogere. They were there when Bogere’s mother asked me to take him away in fear of his life, they were there when I tried to offer her a way out, and they were all there when Bogere’s step father beat his mother to death. I guess you can say, I have been through a lot with these people.

   As a church, we also raised money to buy some mattresses for guardians of our children. The majority of the Smile Africa children and their mother sleep on the floor, in the dirt or mud. We raised money so that these children could have a safe place to sleep that would keep them safe, comfortable, and protect them from disease. Pastor Ruth, my dad and I, passed out these mattresses to the women and they were so excited! As we handed out each mattress, their eyes lit up with so much joy. They would finally have a comfortable place to sleep…some of them, for the first time in their life.

   Smile Africa also just rescued a little boy, Clovis. This sweet boy is suffering badly from HIV, malnourishment, abuse, and neglect. He is so tiny, I could feel every single one of this bones. Clovis is about 7 years old, but has the weight of a 1 year old. As I held his little body in my arms, my heart broke. He had a very high fever and needed to be rushed to the hospital. I wanted to stay with him every second. I held him on my lap and prayed for him. I prayed that God would move quickly in this boy’s body, I prayed for miraculous healing. Please pray for Clovis, everyone. Since he has HIV and is very very sick, he needs miraculous healing, or he will die. Please pray.

   This was a very busy day, but a rewarding one. I was so glad to be able to see the people in the slum get new toilets and mattresses. Seeing the joy on their faces was amazing. My heart, though, is still burdened with the suffering of Clovis. I am giving it God and praying with my whole heart.

“Thank you Jesus for all that you do for us. Thank you for loving us and keeping us safe. Thank you for providing a way for the people to have new toilets and mattresses. I pray that they will take good care of them so that they will have them for a long time. Please heal Clovis’ body. Take all the suffering away. Thank you for his healing and bringing him to Smile Africa. We love you. Amen.”

   

Facing Fear

   I woke up in the morning so excited to start my day! I was back to my old routine and I loved it. I was looking forward to my walk to Smile Africa. I thought about all the people that I would see that I made a relationship with the last time I was here. Before I left for Smile Africa, I washed a few of my clothes and hung them outside to dry…just like old times. Then I began my walk.

   During my walk I never once got lost. I remembered everything about this town. It was all so familiar. I waved to a few of the kids as I walked by them and I just kept smiling at all the familiar places and people. As I was walking, I heard my name being shouted from across the road. It was one of the policewoman that I had met while I was here last time. She was standing in front of the police station, the jail, which almost became my home. I stopped and looked at that jail and all the memories began to flood my mind. I thought about walking over to it, but I chose to just keep walking instead. I waved to the policewoman and I continued on. Here is the picture of the jail. (Click to enlarge).

   Once I reached the town, I saw more familiar faces. I just smiled and waved at everyone that I remember as I kept on walking toward Smile Africa. I had the biggest smile on my face as I journeyed through this familiar place. Just then I saw a face that I was hoping to never see again…Bogere’s step father was right down the street from me, directly in front of me. My smile instantly left my face. My eyes met his and no one moved. It was a terrible feeling. Chills shot through my body. This terrible man murdered Bogere’s mother, attempted to kill Bogere, and threatened to kill me…and he was standing 20 feet from me. At this moment I just froze. My heart began to beat and my body filled with anger. We just stared at each other.

   Finally, I took a deep breath, prayed quietly and walked on toward to Smile Africa. I quietly said to myself, 

"God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind."

   I chose to face my fear and not let him stop me from doing what God had for me to do! This man was standing in the direction that I needed to go, so I was walking right toward him. My eyes were glued to his as I walked toward him. As I got closer to him, he smiled and waved at me. I was so annoyed and confused by that gesture. I thought,

“You have got to be kidding me! Who do you think you are! Don’t you smile and wave at me! You wanted both Bogere and I dead!”

   I just walked by him and continued in the direction I was going. It was such a strange moment for me. I mean, what are the odds that I would run into him on the 1 day that I would be walking around Tororo. Memories began to flood my mind. I thought about all the things that Bogere and I had been through together with this man. I thought about all the injustice that was happening because of him. I realized that thinking about all the bad things that happened because of this man were not going to solve anything. So I prayed and told God that I forgave him…again. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I have forgiven him.

   Later that day I took Bogere and Betty to play at Jesse and Rachelle Digges’ house. They are my American friends that I had become close with while I was in Tororo the last time. They have 2 little girls who my kids love to play with. It was a great afternoon together. We got to catch up and let the kids play together. It was so much fun to see them and be with them again.

   Although there was a minor set back, it was a great day. I loved every second that I got to spend with Bogere and Betty. It didn’t matter to me what we did, as long as I was with them, I was happy. Bogere and Betty had such a great day too. They laughed and played pretty much the whole day. I didn’t leave them at all. I only have one more day with them, so every second counts.

“Thank you Jesus for allowing us to have such a great day together. Thank you for keeping me safe as I walked through the town. I pray that you will soften my heart towards Bogere’s stepfather. Please continue to keep me and the kids safe. We love you! Amen.”